Christmas Dilemma

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So I've run into a small dilemma.  To save money for moving I opted to make Christmas gifts for everyone this year.  I also decided to make it a project by making things entirely out of scrap fabric and fabrics that otherwise would have been tossed away.  So I'm down to just a few left... namely the in laws and I can't bring myself to make them gifts.  I was okay with it when we first thought of the idea but now I'm stuck.


Short and vague story (if you want to know more you'll have to ask me personally): 

After planning and making everything in our wedding myself while graduating college and moving I kicked my sister in law out of our wedding because of numerous problems with her and lastly, lying to me and the rest of the family.  Those that know me know how much I hate liars.  So after hearing wonderful remarks of my worthlessness, my in laws haven't talked to me in over two years because of it.  Then they made it worse for us after our marriage even after I personally apologized by phone and letters to try and make amends.  The last time we tried to arrange a meeting, which was not the first, to resolve the problems I was hung up on so we canceled our flights to his sister's graduation because of it.  We knew then that it was time to just be done with his family.  Richard talks with them but that's it.  I'm not brought up.  On my birthday they call him to tell me happy birthday.  As for Christmas I can tell how much they think of me.  Last Christmas I got a wooden tea light holder, yes I'm serious.  The year before, this newlywed received, as I discovered later was a joke gift of flannel kid sock monkey pajamas that Richard banned me to wear because they were that horrible.  It was then I realized I shouldn't care about taking the time to send them something personal or nice.


I'm okay with not hearing from them but what I'm not okay with is... if I put my heart into making something for them and I don't get that personal thank you I will be very upset.  I mean when you make something yourself even when you don't mean to there's always some kind of personal attachment.  Also I'm not a fan of the bought gift or card.  On the rare occasion I do buy something for someone I have a reason for it or I will put a personal touch on it and I'll tell you why it made me think of that person.  The only thing I ever ask in return is a thank you for thinking of me.  I don't need a gift back.  I just want to know personally that it made you happy.


So do I make something for them  knowing if I don't get that personal thanks I'll be more upset with my in laws than before or just suck up saving and buy a gift I don't care about and send it on as I've done in the previous years?  Also knowing it will upset Richard that I don't want to make something for his family and annoy him to spend money on gifts when we previously agreed we wouldn't.


Not so cheers today,


1 Comment

Gee Kyle, it sounds like the in laws need to take the initiative. With your birthday coming up real soon, maybe the relatives could put aside their personal issues and phone you this time. Otherwise, the only one they are hurting is themselves and their son.

PS Maybe you could send them BACK the pajamas they sent you for xmas(as a joke of course) Do you think they will get the point?!